Life is getting easier and easier. With the rise of Science and Technology, various items and gadgets have been brought to existence which make living in the 20th century feel like a dream. Now, we can perform tasks that used to be herculean decades ago with utmost ease. Even sex has gotten easier now- you can totally buy strength, speed, size, girth, even endurance (make una no vex, I like isekuse). Anyways, life don sweet now. But think about this.... Most times, we lose ourselves chasing these sophisticated gadgets and products- the fanciest android phones, bulletproof laptops and portable computers with insane hard drive capacities, motorbikes with artificial intelligence, houses with voice recognition security fittings... So much that we fail to appreciate their invention by reflecting on how difficult life would actually be without the basic materials. Lemme stress my point with these examples. Imagine life without;
Phones
Now, I'm not talking about smartphones 'cos I know that once I mentioned that point, y'all have started thinking about your Samsung and Infinix gadgets. I'm talking about phones in general. The invention that allows you to communicate with someone on the other side of the world. THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD FOR GOD'S SAKE! Imagine life without a phone. Its hard to accept that there were once people who communicated without phones. I read in an book once that at a time when letters were the only means of sending messages, someone would be tasked with the job of delivering them and he had to run all the way to the location. If he's lucky, he uses a horse. Imagine having to go back to that way of life....
Soap
Ah.... After a hot day, you walk down home with the intention to chill. What's the first thing you tend to do? Take a shower of course. But wait! You're sweaty and covered in grime, dirt, soot, dust, smoke and sebaceous fluids. How do you get the nasty thing off you? Soap. Cool, sweet-scented, cleansing soap! Who can hate soap? Does anyone out there hate soap? Do YOU hate soap? Of course you don't. It makes you feel clean, right? Gets you ready for the next outing or that hot date or whatever, right? But imagine life without soap. Once upon a time, men didn't bathe with soap because it didn't exist then. When it was finally invented, only the rich could afford it and the difference became clear in one simple contrast; you stink. Imagine living without soap. Can anything replace soap? I think its an indispensable item. Speaking of which....
Antibiotics
Walahi, I tell you. Our society and probably the world in general have really taken this item for granted o. The one product that serves as the basis of every synthetic drug, serum and consumable targeted at preserving, promoting and protecting mankind's health. Antibiotics do on the insides what antiseptics do on the outside. Infact, antibiotics clean up after antiseptics fail (which they do, most of the time)! But we never seem to grasp the full importance of this noble but necessary drug so lemme remind us all about it. Did you know that there was a time when malaria was deemed as deadly? When tetanus was considered an irreversible illness? When tuberculosis was mentioned with shudders of fear? But nowadays, when any of these pop up, we just visit a hospital, swallow a few pills and tada! Body go de kampe! If e no com de nko?
Condoms
Yes. Condoms. Believe it or not, life would be one hell of a shitstorm without those rubbery companions for our johns! No, seriously think about it. Indiscriminate, raunchy, wakajugbe sex upandan or not, condoms are very essential for life. I tell you. And I'm not just talking about its relevance for males. Even the women benefit from this invention. Okay, let's analyze this. One time in history, there were no condoms. What was life like then? Population boomed to five times its former size, we had women unwillingly turned to baby factories (cos let's face it, withdrawal method na wash!), we had STDs roaming free- the rich, the poor, even kings and queens were catching those nasty crotch- itching buggers! But now, we can all chillax and get laid as many times and with as many people as we like. You don't want kids? Condoms. You don't want STDs? Condoms. You wanna control your partner's pregnancy rate? Condoms. You wanna make flirting around and straffing upandan look responsible? Condoms! If it didn't exist, we'd all probably be either dead, celibate or worse...married!
Mattresses
Extremely taken for granted! I swear down!! Haba! We all overlook the greatness of those foams on our beds! Mahn!!! The day I realized the importance of mattresses was when I moved into a campus hostel where it was scarce. There, I had to compare the difference between sleeping on a matress, a mat and the bare floor. And I tell you people, I'll take matresses anyday anytime! The sweetest part is that it can be fashioned to suit your fancy. Soft, fluffy, hard, extra-hard, bouncy, sinky, even watery! Anyway you want it to be. Iffa hear say you no de enjoy matresses! But once upon a time, they didn't exist. People tried to make sleeping as comfortable as possible by making beds of animal skins, bamboos, grasses and even hay covered with cotton blankets but none of 'em worked. Then those gloriously stuffed devices came into being and sleeping became an activity (or inactivity) to look forward to. So next time you're about to climb into bed, be grateful that comfy apparatus is there.
Electricity
Omo, we human beings can waste this precious resource like say ehn! Electricity practically gave life to more than half of every other necessary item man depends on today- vehicles, mobile phones, better housing, the internet.... Everyone uses it everyday and everywhere. Infact, it became one of the basic necessities required for man's development. Countries which cannot afford or provide basic electricity for their people are tagged 'under-developed'. It is a major contrasting factor between a successful civilization and a failing one. That's how we see electricity today. And yet we take it for granted. Now, imagine a life without it. Imagine being without the energy force that gives life to your Instagram, your weekly episodes of 'Jenifa's Diary', your cars, your xvideos (my people, I hail o!), you houses and every other thing that runs on electricity. I know the upside would be that no bastard would come to you house to threaten you with a ladder and a pair of pliers but imagine living in a time where it was never discovered. Or worse, imagine living in a time where it was lost. Could you survive after you've tasted the difference? I think not!
Knives
Come to think of it, we tend to take knives for granted as well o. Infact, I can bet that no one has thought twice about how the idea of using knives came into existence. Or how it was even developed to begin with. We just go to the market and buy one when we need it. Or borrow, if you live in 'face me I face you'. But I doubt if any of us have ever given a moment's thought to how life might have been like if we never had the knowledge of making sharp objects that could cut. But there was a time when men lived like that. The Stone Age (shebi una do Geography?). In those times, men had discovered that sharp objects made hunting and protection easier. They also discovered that stones, specifically flint rocks were stronger than wood and bore sharp edges when split. That was how knives started o. Then men discovered iron and had it developed to that sharp blade in your kitchen. But what if man never had that thought? What if we never had that information? Imagine having to cook and you went to the market to buy meat. It means the 'eleran' would give you your portion paid for by ripping it with his teeth! Now, that's something I would love to see.
Cotton Buds
Ehen! This one, I personally cannot live without! Ha! Mahn! Infact, I wantu goan do research on the person who invented cotton buds. I would like to know where he was buried so I can go there yearly and put flowers on his tombstone. I would like to know his name so I can start a charity foundation in his honor in reverence to the wonderful legacy he left behind. Oh boy! Cotton buds are awesome! Anybody who takes these humble products for granted does not know the value. Of course, it was initially invented as a cleaning aid for the ear canal. You know, to help remove excess wax. But as time went by, a new use for it was discovered. Scratching ear itches. Yeeh! Those things can make you go crazy. Of all the places in the human body one should develop an itch, the ear canal is the worst one- because it is the ONE part of your body that you can't really reach. And you can't just poke any object inside it to do the job for fear of harming the eardrum. God knows we've tried everything we can; twisted paper, matchsticks, pen covers, keys, the end plug of headphones, the butt handles of headphones.... One time, chicken feathers almost did the trick but then some genius eventually formulated the use of cotton buds as ear-scratchers and the tern 'eargasm' was invented. Infact, I don't need to emphasize more on the implications of not having this invention in our lives.
Beer
The worldwide drink of friendship! The companion that never abandons you in your time of sorrow, loneliness or pain. The supporting anchor of every successful meeting, date and event. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound like an alcoholic but you just can't help being passionate when it comes to beer. Throughout history, different drinks have been brewed, distilled and made by humans but I can say with authoritative conviction that none can take the place of a glass of really great beer! Do you know how important beer is in the life of humans? How many problems it has helped one live through? Ladies it has made easy to court? People it has helped discover their inner talents by taking away their inhibitions? Ideas it has helped people develop? Friendships and companionships it has helped forged? Wars it has helped prevented in our history? No, lemme make it simple. Have you ever seen a man sad after a few bottles of beer? I haven't! And I doubt I ever will!! I'm sorry, I'm just too passionate about beer. It is important! Don't ask me why! You know its important! The world would be such a sad, sad place without beer. THE WORLD NEEDS BEER!!!
Fried Chicken
Oh.... Oh Great Zeus... Oh Poseidon of the Deep.... Oh...Chukwu Nna! No...no.... Just think about it. Chicken on its own is already awesome. Those birds must've been God's greatest gift to man....after sex, of course. Yummy....tasty.....can be eaten with anything. ANYTHING! We already had life going fine with chicken meat. Started with boiling (hmm...good), then roasted (hmm...better), then roasted with oil and pepper (hmm...barbecued...much better). But then, someone went ahead and decided to dip chicken meat in hot oil and let it go crisp. Ha! Heaven At Last!! Fried chicken can never go wrong! NEVER! Abi have you seen anyone who hates fried chicken?! If you hate fried chicken, you are NOT normal!! Or have you seen anyone sadly eating fried chicken?? Lailai! Even the aroma will give you wet dreams.... Chai.... And to emphasize the importance of fried chicken, some people even made millions from selling it worldwide! KFC na! Abeg if fried chicken is not a universally spoken language, him go see money from the business?? Haba kai! Make we de tok true na! Bia... I don't know about you o. But as for me and my belly, we cannot and I mean CANNOT survive on Earth without fried chicken. Fried chicken is the bomb. Fried chicken is bae. Infact......fried chicken is life!
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