Not everyone can hold their liquor but for the selected few who can, it's a useful skill. However, many are convinced they actually can when in reality, they cannot but because they believe in this false notion, they end up making a complete fool of themselves when they're drunk. Others, on the other hand are not very certain of their capacity to consume alcohol. This group tend to avoid the possibility of getting wasted but when they eventually do, they find it surprising that they still have a hold on their senses while intoxicated. In order to help you all decide if you can or cannot walk a straight line when you're really buzzed, I've come up with some tactics you can use to test-run your ability to murder bottles.
You know you're drunk
The first step to combating the effects of alcohol in your system is having the humility to acknowledge when the fluid is beginning to take effect. I usually see people vehemently denying they've lost the battle between themselves and the booze even when they're puking their intestines out and staggering to take a pee. So, once you can tell yourself, 'I'm drunk, what next..?' That's the first step to gaining control.
You can still walk
One of the first things you notice as your system gets concentrated with alcohol is loss of complete control of your locomotive functions. You seem to become either too enthusiastic to swing your limbs or find the entire tast herculian. So, to summarise, if you can still take the proper steps from the location of getting wasted to your resting abode without faceplanting the floor or falling into gutters and ditches, then you're strong.You can still feel remorse
Alcohol tends to intensify emotions- anger, rage, lust, passion, happiness, ecstacy....the list goes on. But it's rare to see it heighten your sense of compassion in others and yourself. This sign is more noticeable in those who decide to drink in order to suppress sorrow or down-heartedness. If after flooding your system with beer and vodka, you still feel like shit, it means the booze isn't having the controlling effect on you. And that you can decide to stop and tackle your problems with a clear head....when you wake up in the morning, that is.You can still lie
Lying requires a lot of mental manipulation of facts and its efficient use depends on two factors; your ability to twist a story and your ability to make it sound convincing to the listener. But alcohol tends to rob one of their sense of reasoning. Achieving an impressive lie when you're sober is in itself requires a quick-working mind so if you're still able to cook up a lie worthy of making Satan doff his hat at you in respect while you're intoxicated then rest assured, you can take a few more bottles without completely going blank.You can still talk rationally
It's already a difficult task keeping people enthralled in conversations. You need to be able to wow them with points and statements that stir interest. Again, alcohol tends to awaken the idiot in you as your inhibitions are greatly suppressed. Why else do you see people slur and stutter when trying to talk drunk? However, when you notice that you're still dropping reasonable points in coherent sentences during a group discussion even while you sense your eyes and brain are begging to shut down, then you're good. And good to go.You still remember your password
When you're super drunk, you tend to forget trivial things such as where you left your shoes, if you had lunch that day or not and even your car keys or current location. So it's normal to see people who don't even remember they had a phone on them, much less its passcode. But when you switch on your phone and type in your password, 'megadeth300@shittypercent%ge91', gaining access to your smartphone, take a step back and revel in your mastery of drinking.You motivate others to drink more
Most times, those who cannot drink heavily without having a near-death experience are usually the first set of people to decline drinking more, partially because they cannot take anymore and partially(for those with a working conscience) because they do not wish the horrible feeling they're currently having in their head on anyone else in the group. But when you notice your eyes are getting heavier, yet you can still muster enough strength and desire to push others to drink more, then you're in control of the alcohol and not the other way around. Well, either that or you're on something else...You can still access your talent
I've heard people say booze gives them inspiration. But I've never heard them say excessive drinking does that. That's probably because at the extreme level, you tend to lose complete focus and concentration of your entire body system. But for some people, it's possible to get even more inspired when you're super-drunk. Some of the greatest songs we've heard were written and performed by artistes who were super wasted at the time. Many actors give some of their best performances when they're drunk. Even I make cool stuff when I'm intoxicated.You can tell the time without looking at your phone
It takes a lot of awareness with your environment to be able to keep track with the passage of time. This ability is one that even rational-thinking people haven't completely mastered. Imagine how difficult it would then be when you're completely overwhelmed by the power of booze. Next to impossible, right? But note this; if you're sitting with your friends and someone asks for the time and you can look at the sky and make a guess that's at least 10 minutes close to the actual time, even after you've emptied 14 bottles as the lighthead of the group, then you're not a lighthead but a heavyweight champion.You don't pass out
Ultimate proof of a talented drinker; no matter how much you mix and pour down your throat, you NEVER lose consciousness. If you're like that, my brother...my sister, you're a demigod!
I may be wrong though but what the heck! I wrote this drunk...
Let's hear from you...what's the most rational thing you've ever done while you were super-drunk? Share below.
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